Importance of Gratitude

As I grow older, at times, I feel the importance that was earlier attached to this word called Gratitude.

I hail from India. A very simple middle class background. Parents suffered the wrath of the India Bangladesh war and had to come to Indian part of the erstwhile Bengal called West Bengal. Left with nothing else, education and hard work was the way to bring up the two children for our parents. Myself and my elder brother.

It was an age old culture that was followed in India, to rise up when elders used to enter the room and to touch their feet. Especially during our birthdays and other holy occasions, it was a culture to get blessing from the elders of our family by touching their feet once we wake up in the morning. When we used to go to our relatives house (Uncles for example) for Puja (holy occasions) the first thing we used to do was to touch the feet of the elders, moment we entered their house.

Now that we are parents and we see our children growing up in another part of the world (Child was born in Netherlands for example), all these are things they did not see or learn. We also do not feel the need that they have to touch our feet etc. We are now westernised !

But at what cost. That is the important question. What was the reason for those cultures. What did it give us ? Was it all empty and good for nothing. Or did it have a deeper meaning ? Is age an important differentiator and is there something called blessing of the elderly ?

At that time, we were told to take blessings from our elders. And that subtle thing called blessing is obtained by a ritual of touching their feet. Because this act, triggers the basic instinct of love and sacrifice that is inherent in a human being. Not because he is superior etc, but the fact that we show respect to the person, he has no other option than to wish well for us. Even if the other person is our enemy. Indian scriptures such as Mahabharata is replete with instances where people ask blessing from elders of the enemy side as well. It is a tangible thing that is passed on from one person to another.

It also showed that in real life no matter how much differences we may have (and believe me I have been a culprit of thoughts in several instances), these cultures bring people together. It binds people. And allows elders to pass on their well wishes to the next generation. In absence of these culture, life in the west (and now even in the East) has become transactional (material exchange of goods and deeds).

That subtle aspect of respect and gratitude cannot be exchanged in absence of these cultural habits.

So let us analyse what this word gratitude means. In every step of life we are in an ecosystem where we share thoughts, actions and materials. If we meet a person of age and wisdom, we have subtle exchange of thoughts and words, via which our life can be transformed. On the other hand, if we meet someone with degraded aspect of living, he will bring us down inevitably from where we are now. And if we get something tangibly positive from someone, and not in a position to give back anything, the act of respecting that person pays back in part the gratitude we owe to them.

In my life I have been fortunate to have been with persons who have had a positive life changing influence upon me, and also the obverse. One gives out of love and another takes out of greed and selfishness. What is the difference between the two. One who was rich in physical wealth was more greedy and one who was rich in wisdom and poor in terms of wealth was remembered and cherished. Mark the words.

It was the wisdom of the person that rendered him worthy of respect. And this truly was what we showed our gratitude for. And the ritual of touching the feet is a tangible action to mark that.

Many a times I have now seen the attitude of the younger generation to totally disrespect their elders. Elders are always willing to give not only their knowledge but also their love and affection, irrespective of the person on the other side, provided we know how to approach. And these cultural gestures are a means to enable these exchanges to occur. In absence of that life remains just a material exchange and will lack the sweetness that it can bestow.

Let us reflect upon this, because life flows along with the river of Time. And before we know, we will not be on this earth any more. But the sweet memories that I still have of the elders in my family stays with me. And it was because of the cultural values that we followed.

So to end this small thought exchange, gratitude can be exchanged in several forms and when we meet persons who are superior in wisdom / age, the subtle act of touching their feet, is certainly something I would cherish as a good action that I had the privilege to follow. People in the west did not know this. So they did not enjoy that sweetness possible. But when people in the east disregards these, they will be doing it at their own peril. Because life will become dry and empty. Material wealth means nothing in the end without the touch of love and respect. And certainly money cannot buy the latter!